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| 自從搬到麥根尼小鎮後, 已有五個多月沒寫blog。
我的腦袋也好像生了鏽, 有點被卡住了的感覺。
真的不想自己太適應這裡的生活....... Floridian的生活。
所以我想寫下blog也是好的, 記錄一下這樣的我, 讓我振作起來。
先說說新工作。
在精神科醫院裡工作也挺有趣的, 每天也有一些「估你唔到」的事情。有些病人會跟你說FBI的情報, 有些會每天問你同一個問題, 有些會「當你透明」, 有些會攻心計找人小便宜, 有些會聽教聽話、你說什麼他就做什麼, 有些是小偷, 有些是作家..... 。最攪笑莫過於有些病人會走過來對我說, "I swear I saw you working in the Chinese restaurant yesterday!!" ..... 我和同事經常因此而爆笑。
我的工作態度也在調整當中。記得剛開始時, John伯伯(前精神科醫生)提醒我, 不要滿腔熱誠覺得我可以幫那些病人,我們只能夠"do something for them",但不一定能"help them", 在這setting做事, 一定要「化」。伯伯其實十分了解我, 我會以病人的反應來衡量自己的表現 --- 我會因為反應好而覺得自己做得好, 因反應差而覺得自己做得差。幸好有伯伯這支「預防針」, 我現在可以「化」一點。在這裡已有四個多月, 明白並不是做多一點便對他們好, 也不是有good intention便可以。這「工作表現」其實很難量化。我想神預備了這份工作給我, 總有衪的旨意, 我亦無須執著於表現。總之, 每天能對病人及自己無愧, 便已很滿足。
雖然工作一切都順利, 但我仍要為我的平安禱告。醫院部分病人是囚犯, 有著不同的案底。平日他們縱然亦跟你有說有笑, 但下一刻可能有著不尋常的舉動...... 上星期一天內便要call保安3次。願我能平安渡過每一天吧 
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| Sorry that my last entry might scare my friends. I didn't mean to link all my physical problems to the psychological stress. Just some of my thoughts and reflections during this period. Don't worry about me. I'm still a well-functioned..... lady! :p
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| Re Ng Wah Hei:
I won't go back to HK la ..... tell you later
Re Candance and Amy:
Thanks for keeping me in prayer. That's what I need :)
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Well, good news come. I'll stay. I'll start my new job in two weeks! :)
Though this part II is supposed to be a happy one, I want to continue my reminder on this job searching period...... this time is about psychological struggles.
To tell the truth, I underestimated the psychological stress of being "unemployed" on me. I thought this "transition" period was gonna be fine. I would have much time to enjoy, relax, and equip myself. But that was not the case for me.
As I had no extra money to spend, I had no intention to go out, not even driving as the gas price was going up. Then I stayed home pretty much all day, read books, emails, cooked, and might go for a walk outside the apartment. Yup, I volunteered too. This was really a relaxing life..... if I'm already retired or on vacation. But at this stage of my life, with all the burdens in my mind, I couldn't enjoy it.
On one side of my mind, I told myself what a waste of time it was to wait like this. On the other hand, I had all the reasons to be patient. My mind was battling all the time. Not only was it affect my self-image, it also affected my health. I must say, even when I was crazily busy with schoolwork/practicum during my first 2 years in US, I didn't get sick so often . Within this year, I've been constantly getting sick, and more serious than before. I really don't know how much my psychological status impact my physical health. Somehow I think it's unconscious, coz I thought I was happy. Not until last two weeks I realized the impact on my health when a physician at church and my roommate reminded me to be "happy" and to live an "active" lifestyle. I'm now down to only 97 pounds. It surprised me when I checked my weight last week. And with some dental problems, I don't have appetite to eat like before. I hope now with the good news, my health will resume soon.
One last but the most important thing to note, during this waiting period, when my mind was battling all the time, it was very difficult to see God's blessings. I constantly asked for answer, but His answer manifested in unexpected ways. He confronted me personally and made me humble. These few months have not been wasted. He worked on my weakness before I go to an actual work field. I'm amazed by His plan on me.... though different from mine. Thank you for loving me so much!
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| From my graduation in late April until now, it's been almost half a year. I must say, this job searching process is tiring and draining, especially there are so many limitations. Now, almost at the end of the process, I'd like to write that down as a reminder to myself.
From April to July, my legal work permit hadn't arrived. Even though I might have offer, I couldn't work. So after several interviews in May, I hesitated. I found it difficult to explain our international students' legal work status to US employer. By that time I didn't even have a social security number (like ID number in HK), which made it sound so complicated when I explained. Therefore, though I looked for jobs daily, I started to have an inertia to apply any of them. My job searching process became slow during that period.
From July to September, I started sending out applications, but limited to Florida. As many of you know, I treasure the time with Campion. Consider the fact that he'll stay here for at least four more years, and our parents are both in HK, I personally didn't want to work in an area not in a drivable distance from here. I can imagine how tough it is, striving to adapt to a new environment again, and at the same time trying to keep my relationship with family and with Campion, all in different locations (not to say my big transition from a student to a full time employee). I can't just say to myself "everything will be alright" and ignore the potential problems that I see. It will be four years of long distance! I am sure I will gain my work experience in this case, but I may lose something important. And definitely I don't want that "something" to be any of my relationships. People is always on the top of my priority. So, Campion and I set a time limit. If there weren't any response in mid September, I would go back to HK. At least I could be close to my family and in a familiar environment.
I didn't hear anything until early September, when I almost gave up. A mental hospital at a nearby city called to set up an interview with me. After that I got two more phone calls for scheduling interviews. That gave me some hope, and reason to stay. I did the interviews and now waiting for potential good/bad news. One place called this week and told me that I was selected. They are now going through reference check and background check at the personnel department before they can give me an official notice. I'm glad about it. This place is not far way (2.5 hrs) and they have a large team of therapists which I think I can learn much from. However, unless it's finalized and I sign the contract, I don't want to be too happy about it. There might still be obstacles because of my international student status.
In short, I guess my job searching process in US will end soon. Either I will get a job, or I will soon come back to HK. No matter what lies ahead, I'm ready to move on. I'm ready to work!
To be continued.........
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| 早前post過一個攪笑的治思憶秘技, 之後再經多方好友回應證實, 原來真係work!!!
實在太厲害, 簡直係一項重大發現!
為免大家忘記, 讓我把方法重申一次:
搵一個人問自己：「你食左飯未?」，然後自己答：「食左。」
以下是大家的心得:
1. 答「未食」係無效
2. 自問自答..... 哈哈, 係有效架!
今早收到May老師的電郵, 又再一次證實這個方法的真確性!
我覺得將May老師的分享post在comment實在太可惜
所以現將有關資料刊登如下:
極少極少打「思憶」, 今早上堂時竟打起思憶來。
學生見我打思憶, 有d想笑, 我有說話想講, 又窒住窒住,
情況有點攪笑。
漫長的一分鐘過去了, 情況依舊, 於是我對她說;
May老師: 「我聽過一個笑(....思憶....)話, ammm ....你可唔可問我食咗(....思憶....)飯未呀?」
學生c: 「....?....哦....你食咗飯未呀?」
May老師: 「食咗。」
學生c: 「........?........」
May老師: 「....................」
「...........................................」
「............................................」
May老師: 「嘩!!!呢個唔係笑話嚟嫁!!~~天呀, 點解會咁嫁??!!」
真人真事, 15個鐘頭過去了,我再沒有打過一個思憶了!
Re May 老師: 哈哈哈...... 唔知你個學生有無笑傻左呢?
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